Today's is: Australians and US Television. I propose that the presence of one Australian actor will determine the success of a television show here in the US.
Don't believe me? Look at this.
1. House, MD
Sure, it has a new, zany medical condition every week and an appealing plot line (I mean, who doesn't enjoy watching House irritate the heck out of Wilson? ...and did anyone else cheer when Lisa Cuddy hooked up with House's private investigator, because we're all secretly hoping House and Cameron will eventually get together?)... But I propose that the one thing that has been keeping this show at its level of success since 2004 is:
Dr. Robert Chase.Actor Jesse Spencer, born 1979, Melbourne, Australia
He's not all that attractive, if you ask me (but I don't go for blondes), and -- let's face it -- no one can understand a word he says (it's not like Australians speak English or anything*)... so I'm not saying you should watch House, M.D., for Jesse Spencer. I'm just calling him Exhibit A.
2. LOST
Like any good series, this was great its first season, and even its second. You've got your crazy smoke monster, your whispers in the forest, and Henry Ian Cusick (whose open-shirted presence and delicious brogue make for a separate boost in ratings)... but enough is enough. This show has also been on the air since 2004, and is in its final season. Thank goodness, because the plot has begun to feel like beating a dead parallel universe. Why were they able to squeeze two extra years out of it?
Claire LittletonActress Emilie De Ravin, born 1981, Mount Eliza, Australia
She's spent half the series being freaked out and pregnant, and the other half as Feral Claire (which, oddly, attracted even more viewers) and being crazy as a loon about various people stealing her baby. Not that you can understand anything she says, because... Australians don't speak English. Exhibit B.
3. V (the reimagined series)
This show just aired this year, but it's going to be a huge success and last for at least six years. Do you know why? If you guessed 'Australian', you're beginning to get it.
Kyle HobbesActor Charles Mesure, born 1970 in the UK but moved to Sydney, Australia when he was five.
It kind of doesn't matter that you can't understand anything he says, because his character is a good criminal who prefers to while away his hours torturing anyone and plotting against everything. Exhibit C.
Now, you might ask why other shows don't just include an obligatory Australian in order to secure renewed contracts. Joss Whedon should have learned his lesson when they canceled the excellent series 'Firefly', and almost hit the criteria with 'Dollhouse'...
SierraActress Dichen Lachman, born 1982
Her father is Australian, but most sadly for Joss Whedon, she grew up in Nepal, which means we can actually understand what she says, which means she doesn't fit the bill. See, they speak English in Nepal. Series... canceled.
I am not the only one to notice this trend. A simple search for 'Australian Actors US Television' nets THIS. However, I note an additional aspect.
The obligatory Australian factor behaves kind of like the mathematical i. You remember the properties of an imaginary number**, right? i to the first power is i. i to the second power is -1. i to the third power is -i, and i to the fourth power just gets you back to 1. Thus, the appeal and success of a show starring four Australians would not be as high as a show starring only one Australian:
Enjoy! Keep an eye out for the obligatory Australian*** in your summer television viewing, and before committing to a series in the fall, make sure it includes one Australian to ensure contract renewal.
*Yes, I know Australians speak English. I can understand them, too.
**This is not to say that Australians are imaginary. I've just never met one.
***This entire post is meant in jest and is intended neither to offend anyone nor to steer any casting decisions for future shows.
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